Coming Up...

I'll be doing a review of Kings Dominion in a few weeks.  So let's see how humiliated I can get at a theme park...

...to Busch Gardens

Over the summer we made several trips to Busch Gardens, in Williamsburg, Virginia.  Overall it was great fun, although frequently so hot I thought some of my internal organs had jellified.  Mmmm...jellly... (sorry, couldn't resist).

I rode several rides with an 8 year old boy, and a few with a six year old girl.  I hate rollercoasters, and my son isn't that tall yet, so I don't have extensive reviews of every ride.  But here's what I've got:

• The Big Bad Wolf.  Unfortunately they've decommissioned this ride, but I was able to fit in the seat with little trouble.  My legs are long, so there was some knee bumping, but nothing to cry about.
• DaVinci's Cradle.  Couldn't ride it.  It uses a seatbelt similar to a car's, only not as long.  It missed closing by about an inch, but an inch is as good as a mile.  I had to leave and let my son ride alone.  Luckily he hated the ride.
• The flying machine.  No trouble getting the safety bar down.
• The battering Ram.  No troubles, although it was a tight fit for my knees.  Sit closer to the center for slightly more leg room.
• Tradewinds.  No trouble fitting in with my son, but as I was the big fellah, I sat on the outside of the ride.  It spins you pretty fast, so heavy people should stay on the outside of th eseat to avoid any embarrassing crushing of children.
• Saint Elmo's Spire.  Couldn't ride.  This time because my shoulder's were too broad.  The shoulder harness needs to click three times, and it wouldn't go any further than too without dislocating something.  Never had a chance to reach my fatty sections.
• Corkscrew Hill.  No problems, although it shook the crap out of me, and managed to dislodge a kidney stone the first time.
• Curse of DarkKastle.  No problems.
• Escape from Pompeii.  No problems.  We escaped.
• Le Scoot Log Flume.  No problems, although a bit snug around my knees.  Be careful getting in and out.  Could be embarrassing.  I did see a woman larger than me have a bit of trouble.
• Grover's Alpine Express.  Surprisingly no problems, although it was tight. The leg dividers (as I was reminded by a reader) were a bit uncomfortable, but a little numbness never stopped me before.
• Oscar's Whirly Worms.  No problems, but again it was close.  The safety bar required some sharp inhalation.

Busch Gardens Williamsburg is a tough theme park for fat people, or anyone out of shape for that matter.  It's beautiful to look at, but it has some pretty mean hills.  I thought I'd never get back from the Rhine River boat ride.  It's at the bottom of a gazillion steps, that feel like about a 90 degree angle.  Harsh.  Make sure you've got your walking shoes on.  And an ATV, if available.  Maybe a helicopter.

My stats at the time:
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 360 lbs
Shoulder width: 26"
Waist width: 56"