...to Kings Dominian

Kings Dominion is now no longer owned by Paramount (or if they are, they're hiding the fact), which has led to some quick rebranding of anything that Paramount owns the license. Nickelodean has been replaced with Snoopy, and Scooby Doo has been replaced with Boo Shooters on Boo Hill (a little scarier, but the same ride more or less). My children are 9 year down to 2 years, so our experience would be different from a group of teenagers. We couldn't (and in some cases, wouldn't) ride most of the thrill coasters, as none of the kids met the minimum heights.

Walking in Kings Dominion is a little easier than at Busch Gardens. Busch Gardens is very hilly, but KD is flat. So less stroller arm or ankle snaps. But KD has far fewer indoor AC spots to recover, so it comes down to which is more important, the tendinitis or the heat exhaustion.

We had a lot of problems with the ride height restrictions. It left a lot fewer things we could all do together, or even in separate units. My wife was too tall to ride on most of the kidzville rides (the limit was something like 48"), so my youngest was unsure about riding by herself.

Some highlights:

• The Ghoster Coaster has small seats, even for a roller coaster. Make sure to check your booty at the entrance.
• I had no problem fitting into the Boo Shooter with my two oldest.
• The Taxi Jam was a tight and painful fit.
• Zoom Flume has a guest weight restriction of 250 lbs.
• Tornado has a guest weight restriction of 175 lbs
• Pipeline Peak has a guest weight restriction of 300 lbs
• Surf City Splash House has the same weight restriction
• Intimidator 305, Drop Tower, Crypt, Dominator have test seats at the beginning of the line to see if you fit.
• Problems are quoted as existing for anyone who may exceed 76” in height, those who exceed 250 pounds, have a 46” waistline, or 54” chest. Larger guests may experience difficulty on Anaconda, Backlot Stunt Coaster, Crypt, Dominator, Drop Tower, Flight of Fear, Grizzly, Hurler, Flying Ace, Rebel Yell, Ricochet, Ghoster Coaster, Shockwave, Taxi Jam, and Volcano.

KD also limits the food and drink you can bring in. Which is a shame, as the food is pretty bad and pretty expensive. We had lunch for 5 people (3 kids) for $60. Burgers. Really.

Coming Up...

I'll be doing a review of Kings Dominion in a few weeks.  So let's see how humiliated I can get at a theme park...

...to Busch Gardens

Over the summer we made several trips to Busch Gardens, in Williamsburg, Virginia.  Overall it was great fun, although frequently so hot I thought some of my internal organs had jellified.  Mmmm...jellly... (sorry, couldn't resist).

I rode several rides with an 8 year old boy, and a few with a six year old girl.  I hate rollercoasters, and my son isn't that tall yet, so I don't have extensive reviews of every ride.  But here's what I've got:

• The Big Bad Wolf.  Unfortunately they've decommissioned this ride, but I was able to fit in the seat with little trouble.  My legs are long, so there was some knee bumping, but nothing to cry about.
• DaVinci's Cradle.  Couldn't ride it.  It uses a seatbelt similar to a car's, only not as long.  It missed closing by about an inch, but an inch is as good as a mile.  I had to leave and let my son ride alone.  Luckily he hated the ride.
• The flying machine.  No trouble getting the safety bar down.
• The battering Ram.  No troubles, although it was a tight fit for my knees.  Sit closer to the center for slightly more leg room.
• Tradewinds.  No trouble fitting in with my son, but as I was the big fellah, I sat on the outside of the ride.  It spins you pretty fast, so heavy people should stay on the outside of th eseat to avoid any embarrassing crushing of children.
• Saint Elmo's Spire.  Couldn't ride.  This time because my shoulder's were too broad.  The shoulder harness needs to click three times, and it wouldn't go any further than too without dislocating something.  Never had a chance to reach my fatty sections.
• Corkscrew Hill.  No problems, although it shook the crap out of me, and managed to dislodge a kidney stone the first time.
• Curse of DarkKastle.  No problems.
• Escape from Pompeii.  No problems.  We escaped.
• Le Scoot Log Flume.  No problems, although a bit snug around my knees.  Be careful getting in and out.  Could be embarrassing.  I did see a woman larger than me have a bit of trouble.
• Grover's Alpine Express.  Surprisingly no problems, although it was tight. The leg dividers (as I was reminded by a reader) were a bit uncomfortable, but a little numbness never stopped me before.
• Oscar's Whirly Worms.  No problems, but again it was close.  The safety bar required some sharp inhalation.

Busch Gardens Williamsburg is a tough theme park for fat people, or anyone out of shape for that matter.  It's beautiful to look at, but it has some pretty mean hills.  I thought I'd never get back from the Rhine River boat ride.  It's at the bottom of a gazillion steps, that feel like about a 90 degree angle.  Harsh.  Make sure you've got your walking shoes on.  And an ATV, if available.  Maybe a helicopter.

My stats at the time:
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 360 lbs
Shoulder width: 26"
Waist width: 56"