Introductions

My name is Chris, and I'm a Fat Guy. It wasn't something I planned, or enjoy. The only benefit I've found to being as large as a Third Stage Guild Navigator is that I'm less likely to blow away in a storm, and in an emergancy I can throw myself against doors and they always open. Walls too, sometimes.

But, even though this world is designed for skinny little people, and even though I work every day to lose weight despite a variety of factors, I still have a right to exist in relative comfort. I may be able to lose the combined weight of my wife and kids and still be a bit chunky, but I also have something to say. And a lot of that is what I've learned being a ginormous person in a world made by people who don't even understand how you can chafe just standing still. And here is where I'll share.

If you're just interested in something random and potentially witty, I have a place for that too.


If you'd like me to review your product or service, just drop me an email and I'll take a look. I can't promise I'll do it, or that I'll like it, but I'll do my best. And I'll be disclosing whenever a review has been suggested, endorsed, or otherwise influenced.

Monday, April 12, 2010

...to Kings Dominian

Kings Dominion is now no longer owned by Paramount (or if they are, they're hiding the fact), which has led to some quick rebranding of anything that Paramount owns the license. Nickelodean has been replaced with Snoopy, and Scooby Doo has been replaced with Boo Shooters on Boo Hill (a little scarier, but the same ride more or less). My children are 9 year down to 2 years, so our experience would be different from a group of teenagers. We couldn't (and in some cases, wouldn't) ride most of the thrill coasters, as none of the kids met the minimum heights.

Walking in Kings Dominion is a little easier than at Busch Gardens. Busch Gardens is very hilly, but KD is flat. So less stroller arm or ankle snaps. But KD has far fewer indoor AC spots to recover, so it comes down to which is more important, the tendinitis or the heat exhaustion.

We had a lot of problems with the ride height restrictions. It left a lot fewer things we could all do together, or even in separate units. My wife was too tall to ride on most of the kidzville rides (the limit was something like 48"), so my youngest was unsure about riding by herself.

Some highlights:

  • The Ghoster Coaster has small seats, even for a roller coaster. Make sure to check your booty at the entrance.
  • I had no problem fitting into the Boo Shooter with my two oldest.
  • The Taxi Jam was a tight and painful fit.
  • Zoom Flume has a guest weight restriction of 250 lbs.
  • Tornado has a guest weight restriction of 175 lbs
  • Pipeline Peak has a guest weight restriction of 300 lbs
  • Surf City Splash House has the same weight restriction
  • Intimidator 305, Drop Tower, Crypt, Dominator have test seats at the beginning of the line to see if you fit.
  • Problems are quoted as existing for anyone who may exceed 76” in height, those who exceed 250 pounds, have a 46” waistline, or 54” chest. Larger guests may experience difficulty on Anaconda, Backlot Stunt Coaster, Crypt, Dominator, Drop Tower, Flight of Fear, Grizzly, Hurler, Flying Ace, Rebel Yell, Ricochet, Ghoster Coaster, Shockwave, Taxi Jam, and Volcano.


KD also limits the food and drink you can bring in. Which is a shame, as the food is pretty bad and pretty expensive. We had lunch for 5 people (3 kids) for $60. Burgers. Really.

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