Introductions

My name is Chris, and I'm a Fat Guy. It wasn't something I planned, or enjoy. The only benefit I've found to being as large as a Third Stage Guild Navigator is that I'm less likely to blow away in a storm, and in an emergancy I can throw myself against doors and they always open. Walls too, sometimes.

But, even though this world is designed for skinny little people, and even though I work every day to lose weight despite a variety of factors, I still have a right to exist in relative comfort. I may be able to lose the combined weight of my wife and kids and still be a bit chunky, but I also have something to say. And a lot of that is what I've learned being a ginormous person in a world made by people who don't even understand how you can chafe just standing still. And here is where I'll share.

If you're just interested in something random and potentially witty, I have a place for that too.


If you'd like me to review your product or service, just drop me an email and I'll take a look. I can't promise I'll do it, or that I'll like it, but I'll do my best. And I'll be disclosing whenever a review has been suggested, endorsed, or otherwise influenced.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

...to Busch Gardens

Over the summer we made several trips to Busch Gardens, in Williamsburg, Virginia.  Overall it was great fun, although frequently so hot I thought some of my internal organs had jellified.  Mmmm...jellly... (sorry, couldn't resist).

I rode several rides with an 8 year old boy, and a few with a six year old girl.  I hate rollercoasters, and my son isn't that tall yet, so I don't have extensive reviews of every ride.  But here's what I've got:

  • The Big Bad Wolf.  Unfortunately they've decommissioned this ride, but I was able to fit in the seat with little trouble.  My legs are long, so there was some knee bumping, but nothing to cry about.
  • DaVinci's Cradle.  Couldn't ride it.  It uses a seatbelt similar to a car's, only not as long.  It missed closing by about an inch, but an inch is as good as a mile.  I had to leave and let my son ride alone.  Luckily he hated the ride.
  • The flying machine.  No trouble getting the safety bar down.
  • The battering Ram.  No troubles, although it was a tight fit for my knees.  Sit closer to the center for slightly more leg room.
  • Tradewinds.  No trouble fitting in with my son, but as I was the big fellah, I sat on the outside of the ride.  It spins you pretty fast, so heavy people should stay on the outside of th eseat to avoid any embarrassing crushing of children.
  • Saint Elmo's Spire.  Couldn't ride.  This time because my shoulder's were too broad.  The shoulder harness needs to click three times, and it wouldn't go any further than too without dislocating something.  Never had a chance to reach my fatty sections.
  • Corkscrew Hill.  No problems, although it shook the crap out of me, and managed to dislodge a kidney stone the first time.
  • Curse of DarkKastle.  No problems.
  • Escape from Pompeii.  No problems.  We escaped.
  • Le Scoot Log Flume.  No problems, although a bit snug around my knees.  Be careful getting in and out.  Could be embarrassing.  I did see a woman larger than me have a bit of trouble.
  • Grover's Alpine Express.  Surprisingly no problems, although it was tight. The leg dividers (as I was reminded by a reader) were a bit uncomfortable, but a little numbness never stopped me before.
  • Oscar's Whirly Worms.  No problems, but again it was close.  The safety bar required some sharp inhalation.
Busch Gardens Williamsburg is a tough theme park for fat people, or anyone out of shape for that matter.  It's beautiful to look at, but it has some pretty mean hills.  I thought I'd never get back from the Rhine River boat ride.  It's at the bottom of a gazillion steps, that feel like about a 90 degree angle.  Harsh.  Make sure you've got your walking shoes on.  And an ATV, if available.  Maybe a helicopter.

My stats at the time:
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 360 lbs
Shoulder width: 26"
Waist width: 56"

1 comment:

  1. just stumbled on your blog, after seeking others experiences in being big and going to BG, wanted to say thanks... love your blogs..

    ReplyDelete